yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
