ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
