I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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