I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
