woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize