No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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