Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
