I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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