okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
birth control should be required to get into college
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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