im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT