Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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