Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
