So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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