Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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