I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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