somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
