Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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