So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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