plz talk dirty to me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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