Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
