I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
