Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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