it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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