shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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