So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
