Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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