i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
