Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am one with the molecules
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
