Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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