My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
