I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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