he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
