Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
