The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize