Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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