she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
