Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Your cock deserves a montage
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
where are my eyebrows?
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