She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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