This girl is more easily done than said...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
