if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
