Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
