Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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