It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So vagazzling was a success
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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