Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.

Fav 98 3168 7463
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(979): View more from Texas

How sober do you have to be to donate blood?

Fav 9 3820 1381
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.

Fav 6 5714 1272
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(757): View more from Virginia

they won't let me drive with my sombrero

Fav 9 3228 1246
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(619): View more from California

Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

Fav 11 641 1281
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(818): View more from California

Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.

Fav 3 1450 606
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(330): View more from Ohio

We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

Fav 6 1077 579
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex

Fav 0 43 10
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual

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