if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
