dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
