Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
