I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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