But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
