His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
