Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
