you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
