i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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