even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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