Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
