I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
