a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
