Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
