Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
