My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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