Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she peed on how many people?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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