dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
