i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
