I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
