$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
