She's JV to your varsity
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
