Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
