they need to just BURY HIM!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dicks are not precious.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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